*Wally balks a little, brow furrowing in thought. It was a good question, and he wanted to have a good answer…and for once, it was something he kind of liked thinking about. Soon, he started to blush*
Uh…if I knew for sure he loved me, I’d tell him I love him back. And that I care about him more than any one else, and how sorry I am that I wasn’t there to protect him and that I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making it up to him. And making him the happiest guy in the world. I’d do that even if he didn’t love me, but it would be easier if we were still talking.
Then I’d make sure he’s okay. And if he needed to be held or talk or cry then I’d be there for him….and I’d make him eat something, because I know he doesn’t if he’s upset. And make him sleep, because he doesn’t really do that either. I know he likes to take care of me but I like taking care of him, too.
And I’d kiss him silly. I’d kiss him just for the kissing, because I’ve kissed a lot of people, but I can’t forget the exact way it felt to kiss him and I miss it.
I just miss him. A lot. I’d tell him that. And how much he mattered and how he made me feel-like I matter, like I can do anything and I would do anything for him—and promise that I’ll never mess up this bad again. I’d be completely honest-about my feelings, about the bad stuff I’ve done, about my
insecurities worries. I don’t want to hide anything from him anymore.
I’d start leaving him voicemails to come home to after every patrol again.
And I’d let him eat all my cereal, because it’s the food he likes when he’s working on homework or reports at my house.
I’d make sure that no matter how much work he has, he gets some sleep. I like to think he sleeps better if he’s with me, anyway…
I’d steal his clothes. Shamelessly. And give him mine.
I’d take him places, just for fun. All over the country. I think that’s the best thing I can give a rich kid, anyway.
I’d wait for him. I wouldn’t pressure him for anything. I’d do whatever made him most comfortable, because the very last thing I want is to hurt or scare him.
I’d be there whenever he’s hurt or scared.
A lot of this stuff I’d do anyway…just as his friend. When we make up. I know we will someday, I just..I don’t know where to begin with him.